Quotes

Merton: You know, we've never really talked about this, but your mom is kinda...
Tommy: The next word that comes out of your mouth better be 'talented'.

Stacey: I didn't know you were interested in the feminist movement.
Tommy: If it's female and it moves, I'm interested.

Merton: It's all about YOU, isn't it? Look at me; I'm invisible, my head's in a BAG, and I'm totally NAKED!
Tommy: Totally??? Couldn't you have at least put some underwear on?
Merton: My clothes aren't invisible; just me... Did ya want it to look like you were being chased by a pair of haunted underpants?

Tommy: Remember that video we made together?
Merton: We didn't make a video together. I snuck in on you with my camcorder while you were lip-synching to the Backstreet Boys.

Tommy: Yeah... that could have some pretty serious rammerpercussions...
Merton: Yes, Tommy, the "rammerpercussions" could be monumentous!
Tommy: Monumentous isn't a word, Merton...

Merton: You're a... pony person?
Tommy: Yeah, Tori gave it to me because we both really like ponies...